{"id":3202,"date":"2018-01-29T14:37:36","date_gmt":"2018-01-29T14:37:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/enlightenmente.com\/?p=3202"},"modified":"2019-03-11T08:47:07","modified_gmt":"2019-03-11T08:47:07","slug":"focus-and-goals-post","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/enlightenmente.com\/?p=3202","title":{"rendered":"How to Say No"},"content":{"rendered":"

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

How full is your plate? What would you do if someone asked you to add more? The first step is deciding whether or not the \u201cmore\u201d is in line with your life\u2019s mission. Cross check it with your values and goals before committing.<\/span> If the task or commitment is not in line with your goals and convictions or is going to prevent you from doing something that is, don\u2019t do it. There are many other ways to refuse a proposal aside from bluntly saying \u201cNo.\u201d Sometimes \u201cNo\u201d does the trick, but there are other times when we want to turn down a proposal more gracefully. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Here are some other ways to say, \u201cNo!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Set clear boundaries in advance. <\/b>You know those people that you work with that make it clear that they have to leave at a certain time to pick their child up or you co-workers who don\u2019t respond to emails after 5pm because they have \u201cother obligations\u201d or those who make it clear that their weekends are so packed that they will not be available to work on extra projects on Saturdays and Sundays? Those are people who are setting limits. If you set boundaries in advance, you are less likely to need to say no because people will ask you to do less things. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Tell them you need to check your calendar and you will get back to them. <\/b>Follow up with, \u201cI checked my calendar and it looks like I will not be able to commit to XYZ.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Use the \u201cif only I had time\u201d excuse. <\/b>\u201cWow, that sounds like a great program. If I wasn\u2019t already so overextended, I would love to be part of it .<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Be clear about a different priority.<\/b> \u201cSorry, I\u2019ll have to pass on that. Right now XYZ is my priority outside of work.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Be honest about your tendency\u00a0to over commit.<\/b> I would love to help, but lately I have realized that I cannot say yes to every project. I tend to stretch myself too thinly so I am making a conscious effort not to take on anything new. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Offer an alternative. <\/b>Reply \u201cNo, but\u2026.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Say \u201cYes\u201d but let go of something.<\/b> When new and interesting opportunities come along, you may want to say yes. That is fine, yet remember that when you say yes to something you are saying no to something else. Ask yourself, \u201cHow am I currently spending the time that I will now give up for this new commitment?\u201d Am I ok giving that up? \u00a0If you do want to say yes, consider letting something go.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Know that there is a chance that letting go of a current commitment WILL disappoint others.<\/b> Make peace with that. Sometimes you will want to get rid of a given commitment. Typically that are the recurring obligations that you see on the calendar and dread. Most of the time you are not stuck. You just feel so guilty about disappointing other people that you feel your options are limited. Start to evaluate your commitments and make sure you are spending time with your most important people whenever possible. As long as you are not frequently disappointing your loved ones, then you are populating your calendar wisely. In cases that you are letting others down, you can acknowledge this by saying you never meant to hurt them, but you need to commit more time to XYZ. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Be okay with taking a loss<\/b>.- Whether it is a loss of time or money, sometimes your \u201cno\u201d requires you to lose something that was already put it. Don\u2019t feel like you need to stay committed to something that is miserable. It\u2019s okay to stop reading a book or watching a movie if you are not enjoying it or quitting an activity in which you dread participating. Most of the time you are not stuck. You just feel so guilty about disappointing other people. Start to evaluate your commitment and make sure you are spending time with your most important people whenever possible.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Greg McKeown, New York Times Bestselling Author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less eloquently stated, \u201cRemind yourself that everyone is selling something…an idea, a viewpoint, and opinion–in exchange for your time. Simply being aware of what is being sold allows us to be more deliberate in deciding whether we want to buy it.\u201d He is a firm believer that a \u201cclear no can be more graceful than a vague or non committal yes\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

The<\/span> EnlightenMENTE Commit to Thrive program<\/span><\/a> is a six phase program that helps participants live more deliberately. Learning to say “No” to things that are not in line with your vision is an important step in living the life you have always intended to live. \u00a0<\/span><\/span>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=”72px”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] How full is your plate? What would you do if someone asked you to add more? The first step is deciding whether or not the \u201cmore\u201d is in line with your life\u2019s mission. Cross check it with your values and goals before committing. If<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":3203,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44,43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-focus-and-goals","category-habits"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Say No - Enlightenmente<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Say No - Enlightenmente\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] How full is your plate? What would you do if someone asked you to add more? The first step is deciding whether or not the \u201cmore\u201d is in line with your life\u2019s mission. 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