Everyone’s “decluttering journey” looks different. Some people have a lot of physical items to discard, whereas others need to declutter their calendar. While each person’s circumstances look different, there are some common themes we have found amongst our clients.
It is easy to get obsessed with decluttering. Once you start, good luck stopping. Depending on your personality and how you handle progress towards a goal, you may feel a desire to keep going and going. We suggest that you have a solid block of time that you can dedicate to this process. Some people set aside a whole weekend when they first start the process and then set some smaller goals after that. Others set a series of mini goals from the beginning. It is best to initially do as much as possible to create a drastic difference. The abrupt change will move you in a way that 2 years of gradual decluttering just won’t. The harder it hits you, the more likely you are to use the momentum to keep going.
A lot of emotions come up while decluttering. Old love letters, photos of yourself or loved ones at difficult times of life, memorabilia from those who have passed, things you are proud of, things you are NOT proud of, and the list goes on. It is amazing what you will find when you are sorting through EVERYTHING. When you are handling each item, you are also taken back to a different time of life tied to a given emotional state. Many people “re-experience” old feelings while decluttering. This causes some people to quit the process because they refuse to deal with painful memories. Keep going! It is really hard, but it is a necessary step in creating the life of your dreams. As with most decluttering programs, we have a suggested trajectory that starts with sorting through the least sentimental items and ends with the things that are hardest to part with.
The process of decluttering can cause you to feel tension towards others. When you start going through your things and old emotions surface, those emotions become very real to you. Even though they may not be on other people’s minds, you will be taken back to a different time of life. Those around you are living in a new reality with new emotions so you may feel disconnected from others. You may feel alone in dealing with emotions because nobody else is feeling them in real time. That’s okay. Just keep perspective and know that this is a possibility. In addition, you may feel negativity towards anyone trying to add things as you are eliminating them. Whether it be material items or expenditures of time/money, you may feel that the person is negating your progress. Just be prepared for this and accept it as part of the process.
Decluttering might actually make you want to buy things. As you start paying closer attention to the quality and functionality of your goods, you will get rid of a lot. In some cases, you may actually get rid of so much that you have the desire to replace things. Just be clear about your means and make sure that you are not creating another problem with which to deal. One of our Commit to Thrive participants got rid of 95% of his clothes during phase two of our program. He realized that for years he had been wearing the wrong size in both casual and professional clothing. He was left with very few items to use on a daily basis. When he shopped to get some better fitting clothes, he only bought items he absolutely loved, that fit him perfectly, and that were at his desired price point. He reported that people took immediate notice of his transformation. He couldn’t believe how many positive comments he got his first week back to work. This is just one example of how decluttering sometimes opens people’s eyes to the functionality of their material goods.
Decluttering can make you feel like a “new person”. This may not happen for everyone, but may of our participants have noticed that they feel like a different person after going through the decluttering process. They are forced to face their past selves and the emotions tied to other times of life by sorting through the physical clutter tied to those phases. By letting go of (or holding on to) items from the past we are essentially naming the parts of our life that we want to discard and the parts we will continue to cherish. People feel liberated to be able to sort through the many good and bad stages of life and face the emotions evoked. They are able to appreciate the material items around them because they display the things that elicit a feeling of joy. They feel like that have more time to think as they are spending less time searching for things or making decisions. Best of all, our participants often experience more hope for a better future than ever before.
